you lose control when you hold too tight, and turn your head long enough to let it bite.

just recently i found out how much of a control freak i am. i dread the moment when everything in my world falls apart into nothingness. i fear the unknown. i hate losing control. sometimes i laugh it off by saying: "who doesn't have a bit of an OCD freak in them? i mean c'mon", but it's true. everyone's slightly OCD-ish i would say. it just so happens that i might have a slightly larger percentage of needing to stay in control in all certain situations.

1. i wake up early in the morning to make sure all my work is done
2. i have three different mugs in my room. one for tea, one for water and one for alcohol alternative choices
3. a scratch on my screen protector can upset me for days
4. i have a back-up for everything (makeup, stationery, tea, perfume, you name it), which made me the most popular kid in boarding school
5. i leave my mess out so i can clean everything at night. every night.
6. i only use black pens (i have at least 40 right now in my drawer)
7. if i don't know your last name, i would hunt you down, because i need it for my phonebook
8. i am not a creaser or a bender when it comes to books. i open it with a 45 degree angle, so pages won't crease and the spine won't bend

there are more trust me. i assure you i live a normal lifestyle. all my rules do not affect me (that much), but i guess it does limit me. so i've decided, starting today (25th november 2014), i will try and let myself freak out a little less. being a control freak gets things done, but it's very tiring (waking up early does not always sound like a good idea if you went out the night before and went to bed at 5 in the morning. not good). promise to self and no pressure. university is the time when you change for the better, no?

sunrise, sunrise looks like mornin' in your eyes

i've started university for a month now and life has been hectic. assignments, courseworks, essays. when i have the time, i go to bed and just sleep contemplate. i can't say this is how i envisioned my university life to be like. i thought it was going to be less stressful and that i would have time sometimes just to relax myself. 

i guess as per usual, i was wrong. i woke up early today for a test (which i still have not started revising for), and i caught sight of the sunrise. i grabbed my ol' trusty canon 600d and snapped this. 

pretty, isn't it?

then i realised this. i do have time for relaxation. i just need to use my time wisely. sometimes you'll need to make an effort to see something that is no easily observed in our everyday lives. just like sunrises. yes they do happen early in the morning (if you have not noticed), but it's one of the most magical moments when you see the sun lighting up the horizon. maybe it is worth it after all.