this is the rhythm of my life.

how you've all been? i've been good, have been better, but still good. well i've been ill for about three weeks now, and i have not gotten any better. sucks i know, but you know as a modern day woman, i've got to just suck it up and get on with it. (head hurts while writing this, so don't get upset if thoughts don't really make sense this time round - it's not like it made any sense before you know but eh)

i guess it's that time of the year when work gets hectic and life is on the verge of falling apart, but things have been working out for me. for once, universities actually seems tangible. for once, i've lost weight (not a lot, but i'm getting there. slowly but surely). for once, i feel like i'm not drowning in either work or sorrow. for once, i feel loved and needed. 

maybe turning eighteen really opened up my mind. it's like sense has been calling out to me and i've finally heard it. time to mature and to adult up sam lee. i've been doing really adult-y things that i've never done before or failed to do before. 

1. i can finally get alcohol LEGALLY- only really happened once because i stayed over at a friend's. i'm not an alcoholic. or so i think
2. i've been growing my nails out - i had long nails once, but kept them short for sometime. you know they get in the way, but doesn't growing out your nails seem like such a grow-up thing to do?
3. i've been getting on with work - again, sam lee didn't use to work. i know, the sun is rising from the west
4. my sister can finally tolerate me - we're actually getting along. it's great
5. credit cards - enough said.
6. intellectual conversations with acquaintances who hate my guts - i'm proud of myself, what can i say?
7. i've been replying to messages - i feel like now that i've grown, i need to make sure people know i'm alive most of the time

you'll probably think i'm being all dramatic with the things i do now, because they don't seem too special. it's hard for me to make a new habit so it's a big deal for me. maybe they're easy things, but then again i cannot cope with real life (no kidding, i trip over myself sometimes. i can't really tie my shoelaces as well, they don't stay up).

oh god. i fail being a human. great.

just be happy people. things will work out at the end, just like always. maybe things are hard, but you know it'll be fine. look at me. i don't know know how to tie my laces and yet i still survive fine. i scrape by, but eh i'm doing alright.