dancing with my moonlit shadow.

so before i go on with the post, it's always helpful to just remind you of the fact that i am chinese; and what that means is that we have a lot of festivals. i mean A LOT. we have dragon boat festival, children's festival, and all that jazz. however one of my favourite would always be mid-autumn festival.

so because i don't really know how to explain to you what moon-cakes are and what is the mid-autumn festival, click me. basically, mid-autumn festival is a festival that happens every year in mid-autumn, if you haven't had guessed, when the moon is the roundest. moon-cakes are just the food we eat on this celebration.

one of the most fundamental things about mid-autumn festival is people usually spend it with their families. it's great because when i was in school in hong kong, we used to get let out of school early and we would have the next day off. sweet isn't it? however, the main point of the whole dinner and playtime with family, is just to remind you how important family is to you.

yesterday my sister took me out to dinner, because obviously she's the dearest and only family in the uk. besides who wouldn't want to spend mid-autumn festival with an annoying younger sister? i'm not going to lie. i've lived with my sister my whole life and this is the only year we've been apart, because now she's in university and i'm really really missing her.

"mom got you moon-cakes. here, take them."

when i was a kid i never liked moon-cake, but after i've left home to study in bristol, my views have definitely changed. don't get me wrong, i still don't really like the taste of it. it's just so sickly and sweet, but it means that someone in your family is missing you and would send or bring you some moon-cakes.

so today i was busy battling through my work and i came across this in my drawer. the peninsula moon-cakes. they're the best. they're so good i don't actually mind them. yeh they're that good. to me, they're not just little pastries that we get in festivals, but the love and care my dad and mom have given to me.

you would probably think, how does it show papa and mama's love? well it does.

1. they gave the best to me - it's not just moon-cakes, but everything. they're so used to it, they just voluntarily give the best to me without a second thought
2. they remember me - this sounds ridiculous, but when you know someone's missing you somewhere, it's just great you know. feels like everything is worth it and it would all be fine.

you might still think i'm exaggerating, but no i am not. you can think what you're thinking. it doesn't change how much i love my parents.

they just taste so good. the peninsula ones. i don't even know what's in them. *checks label* there is wheat flour, sugar, butter, eggs, salted duck egg yolks, custard powder, colour, milk powder, coconut milk, condesed milk, malt sugar, corn starch, tapioca starch, salt, honey. wow that's quite a mouthful and very very fattening. i guess i'll need to start running laps again, but hey they're worth it.

the moment i finished that little piece of delight, my friend came in, with one spoon in her right hand and a half-cut moon-cake in the other.

"it's mid-autumn festival. want some moon-cake?"

yes was obviously the answer. i know i said i don't like moon-cakes, but when you're on a role, you just want to continue. just like watching tv and playing videos games. you just can't stop. well also, my friend bothered to remember that i'm, in fact, chinese like her and that i miss home too. really it's the thought that counts the most.

here's my friend with a moon-cake and a spoon. and her garfield pjs. haha

when i was in school in hong kong, i learnt this chinese song / poem, which the poet, su shi wrote in the memory of his brother during mid-autumn festival.

水調歌頭 蘇軾
明月幾時有，把酒問青天？
不知天上宮闕，今夕是何年。


我欲乘風歸去，唯恐瓊樓玉宇，高處不勝寒。
起舞弄清影，何似在人間。

轉朱閣，低綺戶。照無眠。
不應有恨，何事長向別時圓？
人有悲歡離合，月有陰晴圓缺，此事古難全。

i know it sucks for you non-chinese readers, so i wikipedia-ed found the english translation of it. also, just let me attach a song with this poem as its lyrics. if you want to listen to this song, CLICK ME.

thinking of you - su shi
when will the moon be clear and bright?
with a cup of wine in my hand, i ask the blue sky.
in the heavens on this night,
i wonder what season it would be?

i'd like to ride the wind to fly home.
yet i fear the crystal and jade mansions
are much too high and cold for me.
dancing with my moonlit shadow,
it does not seem like the human world.

the moon rounds the red mansion,
stoops to silk-pad doors,
shines upon the sleepless,
bearing no grudge,
why does the moon tend to be full when people are apart?

people have sorrow or joy, be near or far apart,
the moon may be dim or bright; round or crescent shaped,
this imperfection has been going on since the beginning of time.
may we all be blessed with longevity,
though thousand miles apart, we are still able to share the beauty of the moon together.

happy mid-autumn festival you all.

but change in my pocket is always good for a laugh

so i went on a little shopping spree the other day. don't you judge me. life is hard and sometimes we just want to have some fun right?

i must confess. i love getting anything. ANYTHING. from clothes, to home-ware, to food. i love it all. however, my absolute favourite in the whole universe is shoes. i love shoes. shoes are so amazing. i mean: "give a girl the right shoes and she can concur the world". this is so true it hurts. i love shoes and i cannot stress enough.

so the first pair of shoes that has arrived school is this pair of vans. i got mine from matchesfashion.com and they came in 2 days. i can't say i'm not impressed. you know how all parcels come in really gloomy brown boxes. this did too. then i opened it. 

look at all those colours and patterns. isn't this just so amazing? i didn't even pay for the packaging, but it's just so pretty. this is the advantage of getting things from branded or expensive websites. even the packaging's nicer.

i mean just look at this. how can you not like this?

so i opened the box and i saw this. my kenzo x vans kicks. this is a cool box too. i mean two boxes in a parcel? yes please. i am a hoarder and i'm proud of it. guess who now has two nice boxes to put things in?

in the box, there lies my beautiful vans. i don't think any shoes can get any prettier than this. they are just exquisite. they were expensive, but hell they're so worth it. vans really has outdone themselves this time. i don't think i'll ever be able to find anything sneakers i love this much anymore.

i must say, this is the best thing that has happened to me all week. they're just so beautiful. you know when something's so beautiful you can't find words to describe them? yes this is that situation. i love these shoes.

the autumn leaves falling down like pieces into place, and i can picture it after all these days

school has officially started and work's already starting to pile up. it's great being back, because looking on the bright side, it's my last year of high school and that's great. this means i can finally escape the crazy school routine (waking up at 6.30 every morning to make sure i look decent for school, say whaaat?) and all those high school dramas.

also, i have my own room this year and i'm quite enjoying it. i've always shared a room with my sister, because mom wanted us to be close. i'm not complaining, because i do love my sister a lot (hi, chloe.), but this is a new experience and it's all great really. now i have my own room, i started decorating it more. it's like my little one-roomed home, but i'm still loving it. well because i'm decorating, this means money's spent. i mean A LOT of money is spent, but i guess it'll be worth it. nothing beats being comfy in your own room / personal space.

first, i got myself a little teapot. it's quite pointless really, because of its size. i can fill one cup of tea with it and i don't know, it's probably better off just taking my cup instead of a small teapot. however, it just looks soooo cute. i can't possibly leave it alone in store.

an artsy photo of me pouring my tea. 

i also got myself a new pencil bag. it's YELLOW and it says PEN ORGY on it. how cool is that? i got in on urban outfitters and it might not be the most appropriate thing to take to classes, but as long as i like it, it'd be fine. i also like how big it is. i can almost fit all my pens in it.

life would suck if you're a ruler. you're not welcomed.

then there's my wall of photos. without this, my room would look sooo empty. it keeps me feeling secure at night. also, it safe-keeps my memories in a visible place. all from last year. i know. a lot happen in a year. too much sometimes. you know that moment when you look at some pictures and wonder why you aren't friends with that person anymore? that happens too often.

that little montage at the bottoms my favourite.

 one of the reasons why i like being in an all girls' boarding school is because girls do notice and they do care. one of my english friends decided to sneak into my room, steal and use a piece of my post-its, write something on it, and stick it on my laptop. sometimes i wish i were a man. it would make life easier. girls are so much easier to like than boys. ugh boys.

and the great gatsby trailer. it's great.

it's great being back in school. i guess this is a new start. work hard everyone!

let’s toast cause things got better, and everything could change like that.

i have never lived alone. since a young child, i've stayed in the same room as the sister. then i've decided to leave home to go to boarding school 6074 miles away. i thought i could experience the life of being an individual, but i have never been more wrong. 

in the beginning, i shared a room with three to four girls of the same grade. was it a hardship? yes, it definitely was. crazy teenaged girls constantly high on hormones and over-reacting over everything has  been what i've been dealing with for five years. half a decade. mind you that's a pretty long time. do i hate sharing a room with friends/roommates? yes i do. it creates unnecessary tension and it never ends will. then again, there's always another side to a story and there sure is one to this.

i was tidying up my hard disk today and i came across this. me writing my name for some storage at school. i've been in high school for seven years. SEVEN YEARS. that's almost a decade. i've survived without harming myself immensely. wow this is something. i'm actually proud. just one more year of hell high school then i'll be in university. 

let's just say i have a lot of stuff.

then i came across this. my friend writing my name on a card. why would she do that? i don't know. it's not like i don't know how to write my name. however, i don't mind, because jade is one of those rare ones, who i won't ever doubt what she's doing. just like most girls, she does have her hysterical times and her overly-calm times where i just want to beat some sense into her. however at the end of the day i know i can trust her and she would be there for me. this is the true beauty of boarding school. you meet people who genuinely care for you and they stay in your life forever. 

yep. sam lee.

however, she didn't stop at just writing my name; she continued drawing cars and boobs. i mean you know you're close to someone when they start drawing boobs on everything of yours. EVERYTHING, even my work. it's not even funny anymore. this doesn't make me love her any less though. you might be thinking: "you sound like you're in love with her". well i'm not. it's just i'm at that point where i really appreciate someone being in my life.

i don't have a lot of friends and i have never had much. i've always been that weird kid who lurked in the backgrounds, not wanting to stick out. i was never the queen bee, or the ultimate nerd, or the one who did sports, or the one who did everything for attention. hence the limited number of people in my social life. that's why it means so much to me when someone shows or tells me that i matter. that's my achilles' ankle.

so lord, if you're reading this, thank you. thank you for all the friends you've given me and especially for those who will stay in my life. i'm grateful. eternally grateful.

i'm gonna miss this so much

so apparently i cry in cars. great.

who doesn't like some tits?

goodbye 3.9

as a lower sixth, i share a room with a fellow roommate (a.k.a. sasha) and tomorrow is the day we bid each other farewell. i'll just show you what my room looked like in two/three days ago when i started packing for home (a.k.a. hong kong).

let me warn you before you scroll down, it is not a pretty sight. you might want to take a rain check or even click that little red cross in the corner. it's not usually this bad. i promise. mom if you're reading this, it's the packing. i'm usually really really clean.

behold. my room / working area

my sleeping area with my beautiful board (that is falling apart)

desk. don't ask. i can't don't use it often

i know right. i'm actually ashamed of my room a while ago. however, my room looks absolutely different now and empty. what gets me is that a whole year has whizzed by and i've only got one year of high school left. quelle horreur. 

it's not the fact that i'm leaving high school that is dreading me. on the contrary it's quite a delightful thought. no more drama and i get to leave this hell hole. it's the thought that i should be starting my university application. yikes.

back to the main point, i have tidied my room and it's as neat as a pin now. or even better. i've never been a clean person but this has changed the way i see myself. maybe i can actually be organised and neat. you don't believe me? see for yourself. 

my now-available workspace

all books gone. packed away in me suitcase ;D

this is so empty its ridiculous

 the only thing left out in my room is my bedding. it'll be gone by tomorrow. it's actually making me sad.

i guess it happens all the time, people coming and going. however when it's happening to me, i just can't help to feel sad. even though i'm happy to be off to summer and home, i'm leaving so many memories behind. thank you everyone, it has been a good year.

the best dorm in the whole school ever in history. 

goodbye 3.9, thank you for all the good memories.

thank you sasha. thank you for making my exam-filled term bearable. thank you for making me feel like i'm normal sometimes. thank you for bearing with me this whole time, even when i've been horrible. thank you just for everything. thank you for being awesome this whole time. thank you for just existing and being in my life. thank you for dancing with me in my pants. without you i won't know how to survive this term on my own. you have made my school year truly bearable and memorable. i love you, my cookie and no one will EVER replace your position in my life.

thank you everyone who has made me feel loved and belonged. i know this is cliché but without everyone, i won't be the same person as i am today. i guess i'm that kind of person who won't think and appreciate until i say or get it out of my system.

this has been a truly extraordinary year. thank you all.

bring it on year 13. i'm gonna kick your ass.

happy un-birthday to all of us

this is basically the last weekend in school and the house staff thought it was a good idea to have a bbq. well obviously eating in pyjamas outdoors would be one of the items i'd like to cross off my bucket list (yes, i have a bucket list. the first thing on it is to just own a bucket).

because eating in our pjs is just the bomb

it is also very important that we don't forget about our etiquette even eating outdoors. you can see how hardworking we are, working during supper. 

ANNNNNNND we also got a chance to jump on a bouncy castle. HEEEELLO IT'S A BOUNCY CASTLE. doesn't matter how old i turn, i'm still going on a bouncy castle when i see one. i promise. even when i'm eighty and would require crutches days after jumping on it.

that's me there launching onto my friend. smoooooth

and we get cupcakes. tiny ones but they still count.

let's end this on a cheery / self-mocking note. here's a gif of me struggling with making candy floss without any make-up and in my pjs. because i'm that awesome.

i am fully aware of it being in my hair.