let’s toast cause things got better, and everything could change like that.

i have never lived alone. since a young child, i've stayed in the same room as the sister. then i've decided to leave home to go to boarding school 6074 miles away. i thought i could experience the life of being an individual, but i have never been more wrong. 

in the beginning, i shared a room with three to four girls of the same grade. was it a hardship? yes, it definitely was. crazy teenaged girls constantly high on hormones and over-reacting over everything has  been what i've been dealing with for five years. half a decade. mind you that's a pretty long time. do i hate sharing a room with friends/roommates? yes i do. it creates unnecessary tension and it never ends will. then again, there's always another side to a story and there sure is one to this.

i was tidying up my hard disk today and i came across this. me writing my name for some storage at school. i've been in high school for seven years. SEVEN YEARS. that's almost a decade. i've survived without harming myself immensely. wow this is something. i'm actually proud. just one more year of hell high school then i'll be in university. 

let's just say i have a lot of stuff.

then i came across this. my friend writing my name on a card. why would she do that? i don't know. it's not like i don't know how to write my name. however, i don't mind, because jade is one of those rare ones, who i won't ever doubt what she's doing. just like most girls, she does have her hysterical times and her overly-calm times where i just want to beat some sense into her. however at the end of the day i know i can trust her and she would be there for me. this is the true beauty of boarding school. you meet people who genuinely care for you and they stay in your life forever. 

yep. sam lee.

however, she didn't stop at just writing my name; she continued drawing cars and boobs. i mean you know you're close to someone when they start drawing boobs on everything of yours. EVERYTHING, even my work. it's not even funny anymore. this doesn't make me love her any less though. you might be thinking: "you sound like you're in love with her". well i'm not. it's just i'm at that point where i really appreciate someone being in my life.

i don't have a lot of friends and i have never had much. i've always been that weird kid who lurked in the backgrounds, not wanting to stick out. i was never the queen bee, or the ultimate nerd, or the one who did sports, or the one who did everything for attention. hence the limited number of people in my social life. that's why it means so much to me when someone shows or tells me that i matter. that's my achilles' ankle.

so lord, if you're reading this, thank you. thank you for all the friends you've given me and especially for those who will stay in my life. i'm grateful. eternally grateful.

i'm gonna miss this so much

so apparently i cry in cars. great.

who doesn't like some tits?

goodbye 3.9

as a lower sixth, i share a room with a fellow roommate (a.k.a. sasha) and tomorrow is the day we bid each other farewell. i'll just show you what my room looked like in two/three days ago when i started packing for home (a.k.a. hong kong).

let me warn you before you scroll down, it is not a pretty sight. you might want to take a rain check or even click that little red cross in the corner. it's not usually this bad. i promise. mom if you're reading this, it's the packing. i'm usually really really clean.

behold. my room / working area

my sleeping area with my beautiful board (that is falling apart)

desk. don't ask. i can't don't use it often

i know right. i'm actually ashamed of my room a while ago. however, my room looks absolutely different now and empty. what gets me is that a whole year has whizzed by and i've only got one year of high school left. quelle horreur. 

it's not the fact that i'm leaving high school that is dreading me. on the contrary it's quite a delightful thought. no more drama and i get to leave this hell hole. it's the thought that i should be starting my university application. yikes.

back to the main point, i have tidied my room and it's as neat as a pin now. or even better. i've never been a clean person but this has changed the way i see myself. maybe i can actually be organised and neat. you don't believe me? see for yourself. 

my now-available workspace

all books gone. packed away in me suitcase ;D

this is so empty its ridiculous

 the only thing left out in my room is my bedding. it'll be gone by tomorrow. it's actually making me sad.

i guess it happens all the time, people coming and going. however when it's happening to me, i just can't help to feel sad. even though i'm happy to be off to summer and home, i'm leaving so many memories behind. thank you everyone, it has been a good year.

the best dorm in the whole school ever in history. 

goodbye 3.9, thank you for all the good memories.

thank you sasha. thank you for making my exam-filled term bearable. thank you for making me feel like i'm normal sometimes. thank you for bearing with me this whole time, even when i've been horrible. thank you just for everything. thank you for being awesome this whole time. thank you for just existing and being in my life. thank you for dancing with me in my pants. without you i won't know how to survive this term on my own. you have made my school year truly bearable and memorable. i love you, my cookie and no one will EVER replace your position in my life.

thank you everyone who has made me feel loved and belonged. i know this is cliché but without everyone, i won't be the same person as i am today. i guess i'm that kind of person who won't think and appreciate until i say or get it out of my system.

this has been a truly extraordinary year. thank you all.

bring it on year 13. i'm gonna kick your ass.

a letter from a daughter to her mother

dear mom,

i hope you're having an awesome day. i'm not a very eloquent person and not a very great daughter. i'm too timid to say this right to your face, so i'm doing this here. 

happy birthday! i'm sorry i can't be here today for your big day. i'd just want to wish you a good coming year and that may all the sorrows be gone. i know i have been a shit difficult daughter, but all i want to say is that i do really love you, from the bottom of my heart. i promise. 

let's make a list of all the things i've upset you and how i'm going to improve:

• going out too often - i promise i'd go out less, and be more of a couch potato
• eating all the snacks at home - i won't eat less, but i'll remind you to get more food
• getting too many movies on iTunes - i'll rent them and i'll save money
• dying my hair part blonde - never will i make that mistake again. asian and proud
• spending too much in general - but hey, a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do
• being insensitive - i'll try to notice more
• not calling home enough - there's no way to dodge this, my bad. i'll call home more often
• sleeping too much - you all who don't know me in person, it's a problem. no joke. i'll sleep less
• getting tattoos without you knowing - but now that the cat's out of the bag. i'll tell you if i get more

last but not least:

• i'll be a better daughter, i'd care more and i'll notice. i'll tell you what i feel like and i'll listen to you. i promise i'll be the best daughter you'll ever come across. i'll spend more time with you, not because it's the right thing to do, but because i want to and i care.

mommy, i do love you, even though sometimes i don't show it (it's hard sometimes when i'm not home, i promise i'll try to show it more often). you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. or let's say without you, there won't be me. you're the reason why i am who i am today and i thank lord for giving you to me, instead of some other crappy mother (not that i know if she'd be crappy or not, but hell, she's not you, so yeh she'd be crappy). i am so lucky i got you as my mother and i love you.

you're the most beautiful women i've ever met. nothing will ever change this and you're the most important person in my world. for you birthday, i wish you good health and good humour all the time, so you'll be able to one day in the far future see your grandchildren and joke about my ever horizontal-growing body. because it's a mother-daughter thing to joke about each other's sizes :)

mommy, you've probably heard this enough today, but happy birthday one last time. i hope you'd have a wonderful day and i love you. always.

with lots of love and kisses,

mobee

she is the combination of sexy and cute. original i know.

mommy, you're so beautiful. i wish you can see it more often.

daddy and mommy are the cutest couple i've ever seen. i love you both.

us now, the whole family

momma with long hairr <3

momma and my baby <3 aren't they just so cute 

a family picture 7 years ago. minus the oh-so-annoying god-bro. mommy you look the same now. you don't look a day over twenty

disclaimer: all these pictures have never ever been seen anywhere. momma, if you see these pictures, i have taken a long time to choose them so please please don't make me take them down. you're a beautiful woman and i want the world to see.