sometimes at night i think too much about life and love and music and stuff

so recently i read this post on thought catalog. it made me think. we often see mothers showing gratitude to daughters, thanking them for their existence and the joy they bring and add to the mothers' lives. yet how often do you see a daughter thanking the mother for all she's done? the rebellious puberty stage is often overstated by modern-day media and though we age and mature over time, we still take our mothers for granted.

it was twelve in the morning when i started writing this. i was tired and frustrated with schoolwork and i've decided to take a detour on the thought catalog website and i found the post on the letter to a daughter. i wanted to show the world there are grateful daughters in the world. i'm not saying the i'm the best daughter anyone can have. by all means, no i am not, but i notice things other people don't (or so i hope i do).

i'd say i'm ecstatic and elated (apply all fancy worlds that mean i'm over the moon in the relative phrase). thought catalog has always been where i hide out from my problems or from my work. and now i have a profile there. SAM LEE. right there. my name on thought catalog. not gonna lie, i've been refreshing the page non-stop for two days now and there are 200 something shares and likes on my article. not too shabby i'd say for a newbie :)

after this, i've thought my life through. maybe if law doesn't work out, i'll be a cat-loving feministic foodie who hates on the world. maybe i can actually write for a living. who knows?

and what if i don't ever want to leave my house?

so it has been a while (once again). i guess life has been quite mediocre (and again). let me just give you a little run down with what's happened to me recently:

1. i've broken my laptop and fixed it - basically i've spilt oil on fred and his keyboard broke. fixed him though so it's all good now
2. i've dropped my camera and broke it. now fixed - i've been on a very destructive mode recently. everything's falling apart. first it was fred. then it was leila. i'm a shit owner.
3. i've ripped one of my todds handbag - i tried to get off my bed and stepped on the strap. before i knew it, i ripped the straps off my bag. 
4. hence i've gotten a new bag - an alexander wang rocco bag. it's so beautiful i think i'm going to die
5. i'm removing one of my tattoos - the one on my wrist. my mom really doesn't like it and she said she'll let me keep my whale tattoo on my ribs if i removed my wrist tattoo
6. i'm contemplating whether i should pack or not - long story short, the canadian consulate has put my passport application on hold and i don't  even know if i can go home

other than that, 2014 has been swell might i just say. you might wonder why would i want to remove the tattoo all of a sudden. well actually i don't. i still love it, even though it's half gone and all puffed up and red. i guess the reasons why i agree to removing it are: (i've been loving making lists recently, if you can't tell)

1. it reminds me of a bad time, when i was doubting myself a lot and just giving up on life. i guess that's a past tense now. gotten rid of all the bad influences and i no longer care about the people who don't matter anymore. well done sam (pathetic pat on the back)
2. my mom is the person who knows me better than me. i'm still trying to figure myself out. yet momma always knows best. so i figured it wouldn't hurt just to listen to her (i was wrong. removing a tattoo hurts like a mother-bitch)
3. i haven't thought it through when i got it. i'd like to think i have, but honestly, true to myself and you, i really haven't. let's say it was my attempt of trying to be more hipster-like (and have obviously failed)

i know my blog is more like a photo journal than a word-y blog, but i'm going to save your eyes from seeing my half-healed tattoo. 

until next time. au revoir, mes amis.