grab a chair and fill your platter, and dig, dig, dig right in

so it's been a while since i've posted or cooked. you know the usual "i'm preparing for uni" or "i've got tons of work" kinda excuse. so let's just get going with the blogpost.

me and my friend, the infamous jade, decided we wanted something to eat one afternoon. so i packed my bags and went to the nearby waitrose for some groceries. we decided we wanted to make spaghetti carbonara and some candied on a sunday afternoon, before we gave up revised for french.

CANDIED BACON
not to brag, but i'm the best candied bacon-maker in town. i am convinced that if i went out and gave some random guy my candied bacon, he would agree to marry me. i haven't tried, but it is possible. we'd never know until we really try right?

things you would need:

• bacon (i know right, who would have guessed)
• brown sugar
• baking paper (optional: if you prefer greasing your metal tray or whatnot, it's just there would be less washing up at the end of the day)
• metal tray
• an oven preheated at 180 degrees celsius (smart kid who doesn't live in the uk, you do the maths yourself)

1. first, we prepare the bacon
this is the easiest step of the whole process. you cut the packet open and voila, you have it. nice strips of bacon. you can choose any kind of bacon you want. i usually choose the cheapest, because of my poor student lifestyles. this time, jade decided to go for ones that are sightly marinated in maple syrup, to bring out the sweetness a bit



2. marinate the bacon with brown sugar
this step is not hard, but quite fiddly i would say, and you would need to get your hands dirty and sticky. basically, you grab a strip of bacon and you rub brown sugar into it, until it is all saturated.

then you place it on the metal tray lined with baking paper. place all the bacons side by side until you can fit no more in the tray. then you know you're doing it right.

3. put the bacon into the oven for 15 minutes or until it is golden

the oven should have been reheated at 180 degrees celsius since the moment you've dipped your fingers into that brown sugar heaven. so carefully without burning yourself (trust me, it isn't pretty if you do. i've tried and jesus christ, it hurts like a kick in your balls). 

i don't usually wait for 15 minutes, because i'm an impatient high-schooler who would eat raw cookie dough. just make sure the brown sugar is all melted and sizzling in the metal tray. then you know you're done!

4. decorate it and make it look "gourmet"

i cannot stress this enough. a meal is only good if it looks good. i'm a very visual person and i would not have eaten if i had to eat directly from the metal tray. so i've decorated it minimally slightly with no some effort. and here it is!

the yummy product

this was definitely worth all the weight i've put on 

SPAGHETTI CARBONARA

i'm not going to lie. i haven't done as much with the carbonara than with the candied bacon. the carbonara is my friend jade's baby, but it still tasted amazing. so i'm just going to share with you all how you can make carbonara.

what you need:

• spaghetti
• 4-6 eggs - depends on how much you're making
• 1 whole onion (and maybe onion goggles to stop you from crying)
• cheese (lots of it) and cheese sauce (makes it creamier)
• bacon
• 2- 3 pinches of pepper and salt each
• garlic powder

1. put the spaghetti into boiling water and leave it there

this is a preparation step. as a busy student who pretty much lives off the internet studies very hard for her finals at the end of the year, i like to save time. time is precious kids. 

2. dice the onion and the bacon

all you need to do is to cut the onion and the bacon into very very small chunks. i'd say the size of your fingernails, but don't hold me to it. i don't know the size of your fingernail.

3. start cooking the onion on the stove 

just cook the onion until it is slightly golden-y brown. then add the bacon in and leave it to cook for a while, until the bacon is golden brown too.

4. put the eggs, cheese, pepper, salt and garlic powder into a mixing bowl and mix it

this is the moment when you create your amazing carbonara sauce, and the best bit is, it's not even hard! just put everything that remains together and mix it with a fork.

and this would turn into....

THIS!

5. put the bacon and onion into the sauce. then pour the sauce (containing the bacon) into the spaghetti

after leaving your bacon on the stove for a while, it should look a little like this:

looks good eh?

then you can pour this into the cheese sauce. and if your spaghetti looks like this:

i would say the spaghetti is ready and pour all the remaining water out. then you pour the sauce into the spaghetti and stir it until it is even.

6. decorate it and make it look "gourmet"
now you find a nice bowl to put all the spaghetti carbonara in. as i said this is the most important step, as nice-looking food makes the food taste better.

this ALSO is the best carbonara i've ever tasted. i must say i'm rather proud of myself and my fellow partner jade. i hope this wasn't too confusing and that it is actually easy for you to do at home, at school or wherever.

bon appetit, mes cheris!

building your dream has to start now

many would know what it feels like to be a magician who pulls a rabbit out of a hat, but few would ever wonder what it feels like to be the rabbit in the hat. what does the rabbit feel when it's in there? fear? tranquility? or maybe angst?

if i were the rabbit, i would be ardent.

my moment of fame.

all eyes on me. 

the star of the room. 

if i were the rabbit, i would feel dismal.

my short-lived glory. 

the spotlight put aside.

back into the darkness.

if i were the rabbit, i would pray and hope.

when would i be allowed out again?

to feel alive.

to feel like for once in my life, 

just this once,

i belong somewhere.

i looked round and i knew there was no turning back.

happy 2014, everyone!

i know i haven't posted in a while, but i just felt like i needed some time to myself. to just rethink my life and my goal (again). having time to yourself is so important and i cannot stress it enough.

well, 2013 has been one of the (excuse my language) shittiest years of my life. hell, it was the shittiest. things just did not work out. heartbreak after heartbreak. disappointment after disappointment. i even contemplated on killing myself. it was that bad. BUT it's all over now, isn't it? 2014 it's a brand new year.

2014 has been great up till now. i'm happy. i feel motivated and i feel like i can conquer the world. with the support of my loved ones, i know i'm invincible. i guess i was just too proud and ignorant to see that last year and concentrated on the people who did not matter in my life. maybe it's time to just stop caring what other people saw of me. that's one of my unrealistically many new year resolutions.

another one of my new year resolutions is to lose weight. i've lost 7 kg since the end of november last year, so i'm feeling pretty good about myself. if you're thinking: "sam, but you just said you're not gonna care what people think anymore." i'm not. i just want to be the best version of myself. i want to look in the mirror and like what i see. that's all. i mean, if other people are going to be mean, they'll always find ways. i just want to be healthy and have that amazing bikini body. it's my year after all. also i'm only eighteen once. if this is not the time i get the perfect body and flaunt it, when would be the perfect time?

i guess after i've entered adulthood, i've really matured. i've always believed that life isn't about the results but the ride, BUT i think maybe the result is important too. you know what you're aiming for and you work hard for it. that was the thing that was missing last year. i wasn't focused. i didn't have a plan, but now i do. the future actually looks fairly bright. maybe i can actually succeed for once. wish me luck.

p.s. you know what would be so nice right now? a nutella crepe. yes i said it. a nutella crepe. god i'm so hungry.