love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

i am a very lucky girl. i have a lovely family. i have friends who care. i have four beautiful dogs. unfortunately one of them fell ill late last year and she has been in a lot of pain since. for a whole week, she has been in bad condition; and since yesterday, she has stopped eating and hasn't slept. for those of you who don't have pets, having pets is just like having family. she's part of the family and we all care about her. my baby is suffering and it hurts when you see someone you care suffer and you can't do anything about it.

so here's to my baby girl. i'm in tears writing this, but it has to be done. without saying a goodbye note, i won't be able to let go. it breaks my heart, but i don't want to continue breaking yours by crying in front of you.

hi bebe,

baby girl, please don't be sad. even though it might be the end, it doesn't mean we will ever stop caring. you are, and always will be, the best dog in the world.

i still remember six years ago, on one warm summer evening, you came into our lives. you were so little, just about the size of my forearm. you jumped from sofa to sofa. you have been a great addition to the family. i remember how we've tried to settle on a name as well. there were little white, little mo, fat cat, and bebe. at the end, we chose bebe, because you were the baby of the family. your paws were about the size of my thumb.

then you grew. you were so tall and muscular. modelesque, mom once described as. even the slightest twitch was graceful. the way you jumped and welcomed us home when we turned the keys to the door would always be one of the sweetest things anyone would do to me. however, we got new dogs and we neglected you for such a long time. you've always been good, but we never noticed. i'm so sorry. i'm the worst owner you can ever find.

then you fell ill. i cried and cried in school when i got your news. i thought you were going to die. however a miracle happened. you lived. i remember coming home to you in christmas was just the best feeling ever. i thought we've cheated death. well, we have. just not for too long.

i honestly cannot write too much about the past, or else i won't be able to let go. i'm so happy you've waited for me before you sleep. you are the best dog i'll ever get. i don't want to let go. you're only six years old. why do you have to go? however, i can't be selfish. you're suffering and prolonging your life won't do you much good. i love you so much. we will always always remember you.

bebe, if it's too tiring, just close your eyes and sleep. it won't hurt a bit. we'll meet again, i promise. just because you're not here with us physically, doesn't mean you're not here with us in our hearts. bebe, it'll be a good sleep. you won't feel tired or hungry anymore. don't worry about us. we'll be fine. you will always be the best dog. you're not a dog to me anymore. you're my family. my little sister. even though we will be separated, it doesn't mean i'll stop loving you. i won't ever, even if i tried.

sleep well, my little angel. sweet dreams.