it's just a spark, but it's enough to keep me going.

bonfire night. one of the most english things i've experienced since i've come to school here. a night where people dress up as guy fawkes and light chemicals on fire. oh, fireworks. that's what they're called.

fireworks symbolise independence, freedom and hope. just what i've been needing recently. they're beautiful things, aren't they? dangerous, yet mesmerising. if you stand too close, it will burn you. yet if you stand too far, you'll miss the beauty of it.

i've never stood so close to fireworks. i could feel the heat on my face. it was beautiful. i thought maybe if i stood even close, i would've been able to catch them. isn't that what most people try to do, capture that last bit of fleeting hope?

i know i won't remember every single shape in ten years time. who would? so i busted out my baby, and tried to capture every moment of this. all this. i wanted to share the moment. with that one person i love, am loving and will love for the rest of my life.

i wish he was here with me. 

i wish he could witness this with me. 

i wish he would put his arms around me. 

i wish he could tell me everything would be okay. 

because i know, if he were here, things would be. they always have been, are and will be alright at the end.

yet i'm alone, waiting. he promised he'll see the fireworks with me. he promised he'll watch that wrenching movie with me, passing me kleenex when i cry everything but my memories out. he promised he'll love me forever.

i still believe. i will always believe. he's the one for me.