so where the hell's my hope?

not gonna lie, i want 2014 to be over. i have lost so much (unfortunately, not weight. only thing i wish i lost, but alas). this year and i cannot actually wait for it to be over.

i thought 2013 was the worst year of my life, but no. looking back, 2014's way worse. i've lost him, i've lost the friendship i thought would last a lifetime. i've lost all my aspirations to follow my dreams. worst of all i feel like i have lost myself. 

as much as it upsets me that i'm home, maybe this is best for me to not make any mistakes that can potentially ruin my life further, just like the beginning of 2013. i thought 2014 would be the best year of my life. turns out i've never been more wrong. 

2015, i beg you. please, pretty please, be nice to me.