it's not that i don't feel the pain, it's just i'm not afraid of hurting anymore

so i study in bristol, in an all girls' boarding school; and occasionally, i get to escape to the beautiful capital of london. london's one of the greatest and prettiest cities in the world and i'm just so lucky to be able to go to london last weekend. my sister goes to school in london (lucky woman) and i have the chance of staying with her.

 

london's full of artistic attributes and i love it all. everything in london is spectacular. colourful, vibrant, dynamic. i mean look at the signs. they're so pretty.

 

 

then i came across this. i know for most people this isn't a big deal, but it is for me. we used to have these in hong kong, until the government changed the design of these and it no longer has a button or a screen on it. horrible. this is nostalgic for me. it's like i'm looking at my past, when i wasn't tall enough to press it and asking momma to help me press the button or to hold me so i can press the button.

 

me and my sister wanted chinese, so we took the bus and the tube all the way from west hampstead, which took us about an hour to get there. however, we came across byron and we decided we want burger instead. i mean it does look pretty amazing, doesn't it?

so, the main reason why i went to london was because i had tickets to see paramore. i'm not going to lie, i didn't like paramore that much before. the person who went with me didn't either. we only got the tickets because they were really really cheap.

also we thought of selling the tickets because people there were really shady. then we overheard a conversation and we decided to stay.

boy: "i don't shout." (we were about two metres from them and it was like he was standing beside me)
girl: "it's ok. i can still hear you. do you want to take a picture of the sunset? "
boy: "nah, i'm not a photo person."

*15 minutes later* - boy takes a selfie
boy: "ok don't look at me like that. can't i take a photo of myself? i think i look quite good today"

by this point, my friend and i decided we're going to stay. it was so funny we just had to.

 

first we saw eliza and the bear, who was so good. i'm now following their music. check them out if you have time. CLICK ME to check out their music. then we saw charli xcx. she's not bad, but i didn't enjoy it, because i didn't pay to see her. FINALLY PARAMORE CAME ON.

even though i knew nothing about hayley williams and only started listening to their album after i got the tickets, hayley was amazing on stage. she's not just a singer, but also a performer. the whole night we sang (yes, you read it right. we did. she made us sing with her. not complaining though), we danced, we had fun. it was soo good.

that night, i've also taken one of the photos that i'm most proud of. check this photo out. you can see how amazing Hayley's figure is. so skinny. i just love this photo. maybe i have a talent. maybe i can go take photos at concert. professional concert photographer. does have a ring to it.

apparently, paramore was recording the daydreaming music video that night as well. one day, when i'm ninety and when i have grandchildren, i can tell my grandkids: "grandma was cool. grandma went to paramore in 2013 when i was seventeen. i saw hayley and she was amazing. i was in the daydreaming music video."

the thing i learnt in this is that maybe things do seem bleak at the moment. i had the worst time in my life in this past month. then hayley said on stage: "things might seem bad at the moment, but it'll all turn out fine. you just have to let go."

maybe it's time to let go and give myself a break. life is hard, is it not?

one thing though. going to london was good. my sister has learnt to cool and she cooked me ramen for breakfast. she's an awesome one. god i miss my sister.

until next time, stay strong.

"i don't even know myself at all. i thought i would be happy by now." - paramore, last hope